A crying baby is one of the most disturbing sounds for most people. It is a desperate cry for help and unfortunately, it’s hard to know what they are asking for. With time, parents will learn how to interpret the cries and will discover the comforting techniques that work best for your baby.
Crying is a developmental function for an infant. All babies need to cry. It enables them to release tension and is their way of communicating sensations such as hunger, fear, cold and discomfort. It is also a way for them to express their desire for physical contact.
Many parents believe that their baby has “colic”. It is an overused term and is incorrectly used as a diagnosis rather than behavior. All babies cry to varying degrees from insignificant fussiness to persistent screaming. All babies have fussy times or even fussy days. This does not mean that they are colicky.
Doctors will consider a baby colicky is they cry continuously for three or more hours every day. They will usually cry at the same time every day. They often bring their knees up to their abdomen, are very rigid and they pass a lot of gas. While most newborns can be calmed by holding or rocking them, nothing seems to calm a colicky baby for more than a few minutes at a time.
Colic has been reported for generations and there is no relation to gender, culture, social class or whether there were complications during the pregnancy.
It is comforting to know that colicky infants are otherwise healthy. They are often very alert and active, they have no issue with weight gain and colic shows no long term effects.
The people who suffer the most from colic are the parents of the fussy baby. It is important to remember that the parent has not done anything to cause this and it will get better at the baby gets older. It is not uncommon for parents to doubt their abilities. Other common feelings are tension, exhaustion, frustration, guilt, overwhelmed, desire to hurt the baby, desire to run away and isolation.
Here are some tips to help parents maintain control during this difficult time:
- Put in earplugs and take a shower for 15 minutes.
- Exercise or yoga helps relieve tension and frustration.
- Try to go outside on a daily basis. Fresh air will be good for both of you and most babies like riding in the stroller.
- Ask for help from friends and family. Have someone watch the baby while you nap or do something for yourself. Ask someone to help you with your housework. People will be happy to help in whatever way they can.
- Do one thing for yourself every day.
- Try to sleep when your baby sleeps.
Here are some tips on ways to soothe your crying baby.
- Hold the baby close while walking or rocking.
- Turn on something noisy with a constant sound (vacuum, hairdryer, fan)
- Try talking or singing
- Play music – repeating tunes is said to have a calming effect.
- Babies like to suck – offer a nipple, finger or pacifier.
- Lay baby on their tummy across your lap and gently massage their back.
- Gently massage their abdomen or feet.
- Lay them on their back and pump their legs upward toward their abdomen. This will help with gassy pains.
- Rock the baby in a swing or rocking chair.
- Give the baby a warm bath.
- Put a ticking clock close to the baby
- Wrap the baby tightly in a blanket.
- Give the baby the recommended amount of Gripe Water (available at the drugstore). Put their pacifier in immediately after they swallow it.
- Do not give pain killers unless the baby has a fever or you have discussed it with your doctor/pharmacist.
Dr. Harvey Karp is the author of The Happiest Baby on the Block.
He suggests the 5 S’s to calm a crying baby.
1 – Swaddle: Wrap the baby snugly with their arms tucked inside.
2 – Side/Stomach: Lay baby on their left side or on their stomach either in your arms or under close supervision. The back is still the safest position for sleeping.
3 – Shushing: Say sh-sh-sh loudly near the baby’s ear. It mimics the sound that baby hears in the womb.
4 – Swinging: Start with a fast and gentle bounce and gradually move into a swinging motion as the baby calms down.
5 – Sucking: Offer a nipple, finger or pacifier.
Dealing with a fussy baby is very tiring and draining. Remember that it will get better with time. As your baby gets older, both you and baby will learn how to communicate and this will ease the frustration.
You have a lot of smiles and cuddles to look forward to. This difficult time is only for a matter of months. You have a lifetime to enjoy being a parent.
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